thirteen hours a week. that’s thirteen over seven: less than two hours of sleep per day just to keep up with Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit.
the Pursuit of what? just like most things, that’s still to be determined. to be announced, or to be renounced? that is the question.
the answer? "Life is what you make it, Liberty is how you take it, Pursuit is how you fake it.” don’t ever mistake it.
easier to say than to Attain; it’s always harder to see in the rain. Eyes run red with Weariness, Spirit turns black with Emptiness, Pride dulls gold with Naive Bliss. how unattainable a crucial Catharsis.
but this is what builds Virtues and Ideals. Truth, Sacrifice, Secret Zeal. let this be my Pursuit. To feel: my most Secret Zeal be crimson Red, my most painful Sacrifice be the darkest Black, my most noble Truth be stunning Gold.
all that glitters is not just Red, Black, and Gold. all that hurts is not just dead, lax, and cold. all that there is is to be steadfast and bold.
so let there be Insomnia. so let there be Paranoia. so let there be Phobia.
“Perhaps a creature of so much ingenuity and deep memory is almost bound to grow alienated from his world, his fellows, and the objects around him. He suffers from a nostalgia for which there is no remedy upon earth except as it is to be found in the enlightenment of the spirit - some ability to have a perceptive rather than an exploitive relationship with his fellow creatures.”—Loren Eiseley. Another polished stone pulled from the Whiskey River. (via crashinglybeautiful)
This ongoing sequence of events and circumstances that have made our present self into what it is at this moment has an inertia that governs itself and propels itself forward in increments that are statistically likely to occur. These events need no effort on our part, they are a result of their own history. We have the potential ability to affect this vast wave of circumstance, to change events, to influence this flow in very fundamental ways.
But for the most part the entire world, not being aware that there is anything pushing it forward, believing its every action to be self-created and self-determined, exists on reflex alone and allows the incidents of their lives to just happen as they are likely to do. Of course, we do give thought to our lives, making decisions in a considered and calculated manner, but we do not realize that the mental processes we use to think these thoughts and make all of these considerations are as much a product of the great inertial wave as the uncalculated behavior of water in a stream or of a breeze blowing through a forest of leaves.
Even our thoughts are as forcefully propelled by all past experience as our actions are. Our reason, our judgement, our morals and our discernment, all qualities that we cherish and revere, are only the products of history, mythology, egoism and evolution. As such, we must always consider them suspect, and subject them to the most rigorous scrutiny. To understand this is a large part of achieving some degree of influence over our life, but it is like an addict’s recognition of his dependency—seeing the truth doesn’t make difficult goals easy to accomplish. Still, it is a crucial step if there is any hope of success at all.
When we become aware of the circumstantial forces that propel us blindly through our lives, only then can we put our efforts into changing our course toward a more considered future. When we can think about thinking, when we can consciously consider the unexamined shadows that linger behind our reflexive thoughts, then we have some hope of achieving influence over the situation.
I hate baseball, I hate volleyball, I hate football (or used to play football), I hate (c)rap, I hate musicians, I hate Hebrews, I hate retarded family friends, I hate hipsters, I hate gays, I hate straights, I hate parties, I hate dances, I hate concerts, I hate movies, I hate phones, I hate you, and I especially hate me.
“You’re going to discover that conversations are best at 4am. The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words. Those are the talks you’ll remember. It’s ok not to know the answer and silence is not awkward. It’s shared, so share it more often than not.”—Jeff Stuckel (via cityyandcolour)
“Let us remind ourselves that another, metaphysical, consciousness is still available to us. It starts not from the thinking and self-aware subject but from Being, ontologically seen to be beyond and prior to the subject-object division. Underlying the subjective experience of the individual self there is an experience of Being. This is totally different from an experience of self-consciousness. It is completely non-objective. It has in it none of the split and alienation that occurs when the subject becomes a aware of itself as a quasi-object. The consciousness of Being…is an immediate experience that goes beyond reflexive awareness. It is not “consciousness of” but pure consciousness, in which the subject as such disappears.”—Thomas Merton (via heartmindspirit)